Conversation with a Beninese Man

(I’m thinking of making this a recurring feature.) Setting: Seats in front of my concession. Beninese Man in Question: A primary school teacher.


BM: You should cook me something for dinner. You should prepare Beninese food and invite me over.
LG: I’m sorry, I can’t have men in my house. My husband doesn’t like that.
BM: Oh, then I would like to take you out to a restaurant. We can go on a walk afterward.
LG: Umm, no, sorry. I’m married, and that’s not appropriate.
BM/LG: (Establish that I’m actually married, my husband is in America, and that no, I don’t want a Beninese one, too.)
BM: Hmm, okay, I can’t have you. Then I want you to call people you know in America and send a woman to me here.
LG: (Thinking he’s joking.) Hah, okay, I’ll work on that. It’s expensive to get here, though, are you going to pay her ticket?
BM: Yes, I will pay her ticket. I will save my money. And don’t worry, it’s not because I want her to take me to America. She can live here in Benin with me.
LG: (Realizing he’s serious.) There are not many women who want to give up America, family and all of their friends to live here.
BM: But she can have my children, and we can visit America during the holidays. She must be white, and I would like her to have brown hair and either blue or green eyes, not too fat and not too skinny. But definitely white.
LG: I don’t think this is going to work. Sorry. I’ll think about it, but I don’t think it’s going to happen.
BM: So when should I come back? When will you have sent her to me? Two weeks? I’ll check back in two weeks. Remember, she must be white.
LG: …