Thoughts Before Departure

Watch out, this post is going to have feelings in it.  Ew.

I'm excited.  I'm terrified, I'm nervous, I'm worried I've packed too much/not enough/the wrong things, and I can't stand sitting at home waiting for time to go.  Not that I want to leave home, exactly (though some break from boredom would be okay)... I just want to freaking start this adventure already.

I'm not really sure why I'm joining the Peace Corps -- it seems like exactly what I want to be doing now, and it seems right in a way that's kind of hard to articulate.  Logically, this is the best time for me to go: I'm young, I have no job, no significant other, no kids, nothing to tie me down.  And the Peace Corps hits a lot of the right notes for young, idealistic me: I get to travel while at the same time working as an educator in a poverty-stricken country.  I've never really been a logic-heavy person, though, so the main thing is that it feels just exactly right -- as terrified as I am, I can't wait to step on that plane.  

On the flip side, though I'm excited, this is going to be rough.  I'll be 5711 miles away from home (I looked it up), in a completely different culture surrounded by people speaking languages I don't understand.  I'll be showering from a bucket.  There will be a bajillion different challenges, from buying food to reconciling Beninese gender roles with my own feminism, and I'm going to be pushed in every way possible.

I'm brainstorming a list of goals now, and I'll post those soon.  In the meantime, I'm thinking, reflecting, shoving things into my backpack with wild abandon, and wondering if I'll be feeling the same things two years from now, when it's time to come back home.